So i havent written in here in a really!!! long time...like 2 months, and it used to be almost a nightly thing for me at one point in time, i know this looks like a huge journal...that could be becaue it is...larger then alot of my old journals are not even this long...except for one that i did...
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its kinda hard to believe that all 4 years of high schools are almost over, i have one more year left but its just the thought that just yesterday i was still in 8th grade...or that geeky, dumb, annoying freshmen everyone hated...and here i am, going to be 18 in October, going off and taking on more responsibilities, and facing the more apparent reality that i will live for decades to come. but indeed, its here, one year of high school left, actually, depending on how i set up my schedule, it may not even be a year left, i can go to high school half a day and go to college the rest of the day. not a bad option to get your feet wet right, and to get you started early! though i really kinda feel bad about it for one big reason...
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so in about 4 days, it will be mine and Heathers 7 months going out!! and it amazes me just how wonderful she still makes me feel, even after all these months!! i cant live with out her...i cant even function without her...lol. truthfully, shes the reason i dont want to do the college thing, because i could be leaving out of town early because i do start early...and i really dont want to leave her early, i mean...it would only be a year diffrence...and most likely we would go to the same college, but it would kill me knowing that she was soo far away from me, my bro and his wife made it though...so i hope i do too...though i really do look too far ahead into the future.

other then the college thing, i feel great! i have never felt more confident about anything, and never has anything given me as much confidence as anything like this relationship! i just feel great all the time....except when im on my meds...they make me a bit...emotional...
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school right now kinda sucks!! its really hard these past and next few weeks coming up...they are my finals and my brain will probably going to explode!! i dont have very good grades right now...i think its all the stress from school and work, and the fact that i have no idea what im going to do next year with my schedule...so that just makes it all a bit worse!!!
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so i think thats all im going to type for know...mainly because im really tired, i have to call heather...and go to bed!!


night all!!!


[link] this is my absolute favorite song right now...and prob for the rest of the month...its just sooo great!!!